Earlier I wrote what a fan I was of White House Press Secretary ‘Big Sean’, but now that Sean Spicer has taken his talents somewhere else and been replaced by that Huckabee-Sanders lady, White House press briefings instantly got boring.
But not for long.
Donny J. loves ratings and in comes “Scar Face Killa” Anthony Scaramucci, the new White House communications director.
I thought Big Sean was a threat to the White House crystal. Scar Face Killa is a true bull in the White House china closet. I think he has the potential to out Trump Trump. Although looking much better in a tailored suit than Trump, Scar Face Killa has already proven that he can tailor some expletives together much better than Trump.
In that soon to be most important documents in United States history headed to the Library of Congress, the interview Scar Face Killa gave to Ryan Lizza of The New Yorker has instantly leaped frogged Scar Face Killa as the one to watch for exquisite entertainment value coming out of the White House.
Here’s just a few classic quotes from Scar Face Killa in that New Yorker article. It started out so innocently with him explaining how his first mission is to sniff out who is leaking White House information to the press.
If you just watch TV news, they can’t broadcast this stuff or they bleep it all out, so if you don’t like potty mouths, please bypass the next few quotes.
Innocent: “I ask these guys not to leak anything and they can’t help themselves,”
Insane Level 1: “I’ve done nothing wrong on my financial disclosures, so they’re going to have to go fuck themselves.”
Insane Level 2: Scaramucci also told me that, unlike other senior officials, he had no interest in media attention. “I’m not Steve Bannon, I’m not trying to suck my own cock,” he said, speaking of Trump’s chief strategist.
It takes a lot of balls to say things like that from the White House (pun intended).
Scar Face Killa’s main adversary was Reince Priebus, the White House chief of staff, who must not like potty mouths, so he quit yesterday. Rumor has it, he’ll be okay because he sold his naming rights to a German car maker who is coming out with a new luxury hybrid electric car called the Reince Priebus Roadster.
Back at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, as Scar Face Killa was poking his head around the White House looking for office space and sniffing out leakers, he heard a sound coming from behind a closed door.
Upon further review, he discovered it was R&B legend R. Kelly trapped in a closet. Long known as a leaker, R. Kelly was arrested by White House police and sentenced to releasing all young ladies from the clutches of his brothels in Atlanta and Chicago.
If caught leaking or kidnapping any more girls, R. Kelly will be assigned a White House post as resident Cooning Crooner and forced to office with the only other black guy at 1600 we never hear from, Dr. Ben Carson.