I just posted on Facebook how I don’t like that new 3-on-3 basketball league with the old retired NBA players. Today, I got suckered into looking like one of them.

I still like to go to the court and shoot jumpers. It’s good exercise and therapeutic for me. I find an empty court and put in a good 45 minute workout often times surprised at my results.

Today, as I was driving home, the court was empty. I immediately changed into my shorts, Nova basketball shirt, old ass Jordans with hardly no miles on them, and scooped up my new Wilson basketball, hopped on the bike and rode to the empty court.

It took all of 3 minutes before a couple cars rolled up on me. Out jumped a half dozen men young enough to be my sons and one who was bordering on grandson age.

They could have done the right thing and left this old man alone to his little routine and took the empty hoop down the other end. No! Not these studs. They were coming right for me.

It wasn’t long before they decided to start up the universally familiar basketball free-for-all game called ’21.’ I figured I’d play along since it’s a game that you don’t have to exert yourself if you don’t want to. I scored a few times and looked stupid a few other times while trying not to get too involved.

Then these guys decided they were warmed up enough to start a 3-on-3 half court game. Now I was forced to make my toughest decision of the day.

  • Do I say no and leave them with only 5 guys – not enough to run a 3-on-3?
  • Do I say I hear my mother calling and I have to take the best ball on the court home?
  • Do I just admit that I’m 56 years old and have no business playing 3-on-3 with these guys?

They shoot for captains and I guess I showed enough during ’21’ to get picked first. Damn!

We won the first game. We won the second game. Thank God we lost the 3rd game giving me the excuse for the recently arrived 7th man to PLEASE take my place.

I must admit that for the things I used to do well, I was pretty good. I give my passing an ‘A’, my shooting a ‘B’, my steals a ‘C’. I never could dribble, rebound, or play good man to man defense, so I wasn’t looking for any miracles on that part of the stat sheet. My footwork was horrible so I really played the old man game on offense.

The major victory was that I walked away uninjured and I only fell down once.

After I sat out that one game the guys were trying to get me to come back on the court to play another game. “OH, HELL NO”  was what I was saying to myself, but I politely told them that I had to get home like I was a 10 year old late for dinner.

It was encouraging to know that I can still compete with the young guys but I really don’t want to. The next time I see a car full of studs pulling up to the court, I’m going to act like I pulled a hammy and make a run for the hills because I can’t even stand to watch myself play a basketball game at this stage of my life.

Thanks for the memories guys. Just remember, next time take the other court.

archmere layup
I am definitely not that dude anymore