I simply went to wash my hands before eating at a small restaurant that had two bathrooms. I expected to see a ‘M’ on one door and a ‘W’ on the other door, but both doors had the ‘M’ on top of the ‘W’. It doesn’t take much to confuse me, so I stood there for a moment trying to figure this out.

Finally, it came to me; these two bathrooms were for men and women, both.

I tried one door and it was locked. For some reason, I stood there for a moment wondered if a man or a woman was using it before trying the other door which was unlocked. I walked in thinking I was in the wrong bathroom because something made it look like a lady’s room. Maybe it was the toilet in lieu of a urinal. It didn’t matter, I just wanted to wash my hands.

I dried my hands with a paper towel and looked all over for the trash can. It wasn’t near the sink as I expected, it was next to the toilet. Who puts a trash can next to the toilet? Ah-ha! That’s a woman’s move.

Being the guy that I am, instead of walking to the trash can to place my paper towel, I decided to try a Chris Jenkins 35 foot 3-point attempt from the sink. My form was perfect, but I missed – only because the trash can was pulled away from the backboard (or the wall). The towel fell behind the trash can where I had a mind to leave it right there, but that would have been so manly of me.

I took that long stroll to the trash can next to the toilet and bent over to grab the towel when I heard a splash. Something just fell in the toilet. Oh damn, my cell phone jumped out my coat pocket into the toilet.

You all know what happened next. I reached in to grab it and watched all images melt away before my eyes as I swiped from screen to screen.

The next day, Easter Sunday, the Verizon store was conveniently closed, but that turned into a good thing because as the day went on, more and more of the phone was coming back to life. Oh My God – It’s a resurrection phone. It has come back from the dead on Easter Sunday. I actually can make calls, text, email, and check Facebook. But, the camera doesn’t work and it’s eating up battery life like crazy.

Fortunately, it’s time for a phone upgrade, and the nice Verizon lady I visited earlier today said my new phone will reduce the monthly payment somehow.

The lessons learned is to either stay out of the WM bathrooms; use the blowdryer to dry my hands; or just be a slob and refuse to rebound the missed 3-pointer.

For those of you trying to reach me on Saturday night, I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you. I was a little underwater.