The first ‘Stupid Criminal of the Day’ story for 2016 is a 17 year old who may have put too much trust in his former landlords.
Allegedly, our villain breaks into a home in Media around 3 am on Sunday and sticks a gun to the late 70 year old lady’s head. He demands $2000. She doesn’t have it. He makes her drive to the ATM to get it. The ATM spits out $460 before reaching its limit. Mr. Villain takes the $460 as a down payment and they go back to the house.
Strangely, the 80 year old husband slept through this whole ordeal. Mr. Villain had to wake him up to get husband and wife to hang out in the kitchen for a few hours while Mr. Villain contemplated his next move. He sent them up to bed a couple hours later and hung out in the living room for a few hours – probably watching some cable.
Once everyone was well rested, Mr. Villain told the lady to meet him the following day (Monday) at the ATM so she can withdrawal the rest of the money.
On Monday, Mr. Villain kept his end of the bargain by showing up at the ATM. What he didn’t count on was the couple making a visit to the police station on Sunday. The police, certain to be wary of this story that’s too good to be true, visited their house and confirmed a break-in had occurred. In classic police fashion, they surrounded the ATM location and identified Mr. Villain because he was wearing the same clothes from the day before so the lady would recognize him. Of course, he still had most of the $460 on him and the Timex he stole from the house.
We’ve got a long year ahead of us. I can’t imagine it can get any stupider than this.
Read the official account of the elderly terrorist in Delcotimes.com